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Sam Dobson Writes: Dysfunctional is Normal

Monday, April 16, 2012

Dysfunctional is Normal

Good Afternoon Friends and Family,

My thoughts have primarily been focused on family lately. Mine is never short on drama, whether it's a petty spat between relatives or a full blown war. I have to believe that every family has some degree of dysfunction. Sure, some are more severe than others but we all have family baggage. I'd say about half the time my family rates a little higher than most on the crazy-scale. No one is to blame, at least not one single person. I'd say the amount of crazy depends on the family as a whole.

How can anyone expect larger families to be lacking of crazy? There is bound to be conflict within large groups of individuals with different personalities, especially those who are forever linked by blood. There is something about family that makes conflict more volatile, not to mention complicated. Alliances form and secrets are told. Bridges are burned and trust broken. Family conflict can do years worth of damage.



The common phrase is "you can't pick your family". This is true, you don't have the power to change your blood line or choose your ancestors. Don't worry, this doesn't mean you don't have options. You do have the decision of how to handle the craziness that is your family. You can humor your crazy, yet charming, aunt who gives you unwarranted relationship advice. You can ignore the snarky comments made by your cynical uncle. You can engage in an all out screaming match with your mother. You make participate in some good old fashion sibling rivalry. You can do what I do, constantly struggle to keep the peace.

Not saying that I am innocent. I've had my fair share of boxing matches with my brother and sister. I've let plenty of bitchy remarks slip past my tongue. I have been involved in more than one major family war. Mostly I keep to myself and when I do become involuntarily involved, I intend to pacify things. Intentions are what really count, right?

When family drama is weighing heavy on your heart, I suggest trying to douse the fire instead of fueling it. Rather than engaging in the madness, help find sanity. It will make your life a little less stressful. Forgive your relatives when they hurt you, they are family after all.  

Dysfunctionally yours,
Sam

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