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Sam Dobson Writes: Someone Peed!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Someone Peed!

Good Evening Party People,

Hope you are all having a drinktastic champagne Friday! No crazy night of drunken debauchery for me. I am enjoying a glass of wine, or two, and some good old fashion America's Funniest Home Videos. It's already pretty funny; add two glasses of wine and I can't stop laughing. While I enjoy the cutesy videos of dogs and cats, clips of toddlers and children are my favorite. If you have kids, please don't get offended, but there is just nothing funnier than a four year old falling flat on his face or a baby just learning to stand on her own getting knocked over by a hyper dog. In fact, witnessing these bloopers first hand is what I look forward to most of having kids of my own.

Aside from the vast amount of broadcast-borderline child abuse, AFV is full of examples of what not to do. It is an extremely thorough documentation of how dump people can be. Don't get me wrong, there has been plenty in my life that is worthy of a $10,000 check. We have had our fair share of unfortunately funny accidents within the family, leaving us with regret that a video camera wasn't ready at all times. There was the time I loaded the dish washer with regular dish soap as oppose to detergent. My siblings and I spent the afternoon pushing the massive amounts of bubbles out the back kitchen door. Or the camping trip that my little brother, inexperienced with dirt bikes, gassed the bike and held on to the handlebars as the bike took off full wheelie and dragged him along.

One of the funniest memories I have with my boyfriend involves a can of store bought cinnamon rolls. One night, my boyfriend and I decided to treat our sweet tooth with some delicious cinnamon rolls. I always bake the store bought, and I assumed everyone else did too. I preheated the oven while I instructed my boyfriend to open the can. Realizing as I handed him the fresh can that he had never opened one before, I decided to have some fun with it. As he started to pull the cardboard wrapper down the can, it popped (like it always does). Apparently, he didn't have any experience with canned pastries. He jumped up in the air and landed about five feet back as I yelled "Shots Fired!"  He ended up wide-eyed and looking to me for an explanation (and probably wondering who the intended target of the drive-by was) while I keeled over in a fit of laughter that would keep me going for days.

I am sure that had someone been video taping the pants incident, I would have taken home not only the $10,000 check but the $100,000 one as well. Curious? We have to rewind about ten years, back to when I was in middle school. Being silly girls with endless sleep overs, my best friends and I got bored...and weird. One night, three of us were feeling extra silly when we came across a pair of pajama pants that appeared to be extremely large. Somehow, we decided it would be a good idea to all get into this single pair of pants. Wearing t-shirts and underwear, we all got into the pants one at a time. I was in front, leading the way down the hall of my best friend's house. We slowly walked the hall in a fit of giggles the whole way. As we approached the open bathroom door, naturally we looked at our reflection in the mirror. Big mistake. The sight of how ridiculous we looked, on top
of the giggles we already had, put us over the edge. All of the sudden, there is a wet sensation and the screams of three girls desperately trying to claw their way out of a pair of pants.
SOMEONE PEED!
Hands down, one of the funniest moments of my entire life.


There really is no better way to unwind after the work week with a night full of laughs. Memories like these are the ones that help us get through the cloudy days. I know its a cheesy cliche, but laughter is at the top of my list of most effective medicines. Doesn't laughing keep us young, too? It keeps our attitudes and our faces looking fresh. Embrace your laugh lines, they're the expression of a joyful life. Don't dismiss funny. Go ahead, laugh until it hurts. It'll do your body and soul a load of good.

Hilariously yours,
Sam

PS- Although I won't oust the girl who actually peed on us, I will say that it wasn't me, believe it or not.

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