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Sam Dobson Writes: October 2012

Friday, October 19, 2012

Never Wake a Sleeping Beast

I slept soundly, without interruption, from 9pm last night to 5am this morning. I woke up pleasantly rested and very surprised that I had slept all the way through the night. That pretty much never happens. Between dogs trying to get on and off the bed, a boyfriend who does his fair share of tossing and turning, and the insanely thin walls we share with our party boy neighbor, I'm usually lucky if I only wake up three times during the night.

I'll admit that the lack of sleep does make me crankier than usual. They say not to wake a sleeping baby, if you do it will cry and never stop. Well, if sleeping Sam gets woken up enough times she bangs on the walls and throws a profanity-filled temper tantrum. It's not pretty. Blake gets grumpy when he doesn't eat, I get even grumpier when I don't get sleep. It's a dangerous combination.

Anyways, I was very happy about having a gorgeous night's sleep and was itching for more nights like that. I decided to do my homework. There has to be some clever things you can do to get a good night's sleep. I have thought about sleeping pills, I've gotten that desperate, but I decided against taking any sort of over the counter drug. I've discovered that many people get dependent on such sleeping aides and I don't think my problem is severe enough for that. After all, I'm not an insomniac. I can sleep perfectly fine if everyone just shut the hell up and stayed still all night.

After surfing the web some, I found a few tips from pretty credible sources. The Harvard Healthy Publications puts "exercise at some point during the day" at the top of their list of tips for better sleep. I think this is pretty obvious. However, I would like to add that during my yoga kick I found a short instructional video on YouTube of a few yoga moves you can do right before bed to help you sleep. I think this is a great idea. Yoga not only makes you tired after because it is a legitimate workout, but it relaxes your mind and body too. Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guT7gt-lBes

Number two on Harvard's list was to "reserve your bed for sex and sleep-not work or tv ". I thought this was interesting, but it makes total sense. I will admit, Blake and I are guilty of watching plenty of re-runs and movies in bed. Television, your phone, and your laptop are distractions from your bed's true purpose. If you stick with the mindset that your bed is the place for snoozing and romping, you'll be enjoying more of the two activities than normal.

The last suggestion I thought was worth sharing was to alleviate the stress in your life. According to this Harvard publication, "stress is a stimulus. It activates the fight-or-flight hormones that work against sleep". The key is to find some form of de-stresser or relaxation method you can practice before bed time. This could be something simple like a decaf cup of tea and a few chapters of a good book or even a bubble bath, or you can get really serious and try meditation. The key is to momentarily forget about your bills and daily chaos so that your mind can fade into a peaceful sleep.

Maybe I'll try some of these next time I can't seem to fall asleep. All I want is a decent night's sleep and less of an urge to push the snooze button when my alarm goes off. Next, I should work on those dark circles under my eyes!

Sleep tight,


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Broken Hearts Don't Always Come From Boys

I got my heart broken today. Before any of you track down my boyfriend and beat him with a baseball bat, I have to tell you that he isn't the culprit. I haven't posted in a few days because my mind has been preoccupied and filled with a bit of anxiety. A miracle happened, I actually got an interview for a position as an editorial assistant at a publishing company.

Last Friday, I dressed myself in the outfit my best friend picked out for me and nervously went to my interview. I thought I did okay, although I wasn't going to get my hopes up. After the interview I was even more sure that this job would be perfect and I really wanted it, bad. Today, after sending a follow-up email, the woman I interviewed with phoned me to let me know they had gone with someone who had more experience. Of course, I politely and quietly thanked her for letting me know and waited until my lunch break to bawl my eyes out.

What I really wanted to ask her was "Why the fuck did you call me in for an interview and get my hopes up if you feel that I don't have enough experience?" My resume explains exactly how much experience I have, nothing I can say in an interview will change that. I was, I am, crushed. How the hell do these publishing companies expect me to get experience if no one will hire me?!? I can't even get an internship because I'm no longer a student and silly me, I wasn't able to juggle an internship back when I was working forty hours a week and going to school for twenty. It's very frustrating and it leaves me with a hopeless feeling.

I'm sure none of you want to listen to me bitch and I won't be offended if you quit reading here. I just can't help feeling like no one is ever going to give me a chance to prove myself. Before you rush to judgement and think I'm just being a big baby and simply need to try a bit harder, let me explain myself. I apply to about ten positions per week. I usually get rejection emails from most of those. In the past year and a half, I've gone on exactly three interviews. The first was for a part time position and I think the girls interviewing me just didn't like me. I wasn't too upset over that one. After going a year without a single interview, I landed one, with a little persistence on my part, at a local business journal. The position appeared to be more of an internship and the editor barely gave me the time of day. He looked up from my resume only once and didn't ask me a single question related to the position or my experience. He then proceeded to tell me that he wasn't even sure when they would have an opening, even though the other person in the so-called interview said they would fill the position in about a week or two. It was the most bizarre interview I've ever had and I left confused and irritated.

Then, there was this interview. The woman interviewing me was very nice and she asked normal interview questions. I didn't feel that I was being brushed off, but I did leave feeling like someone with more experience would get the job. Maybe it was because mid-interview she told me it was okay if I didn't have much experience, that everyone had to start somewhere, whether it be there or another company. She told me not to give up and I pretty much figured she was giving me a consolation speech. Still, I really wanted the job and a part of me felt like this was it, so I held out an inkling of hope.

Needless to say, my mind has been racing around faster than I can keep up with today. Should I give up and just accept my current life? Am I supposed to go back to school in the hopes that something will eventually come from it? Should I focus more on writing, if so, how am I to do it while working full time? Is there even any point to continue sending out resumes for publishing jobs? I'm lost, twenty-six years old and scared as hell that this is all there is for me. I want more and I feel like a failure for not being able to achieve even one simple step in the right direction. Among the negative chatter in my mind, there is one small yet powerful voice telling me to pick myself up off the floor and get on with it. Gwen Stefani is singing to me from my iPod, telling me that "nothing's gonna knock this girl down". I remind myself that I'm a fighter and that I won't give up so easily.

Today, I will let myself be sad. I will indulge in a glass of wine while I cry on Blake's shoulder. Sometimes you have to let it all out in order to move on. But tomorrow, I will leave the tears behind. I will get out of bed in the morning with restored confidence and I will continue to look forward. I have no other choice but to stay hopeful. Wish me luck.

Wounded yet resilient,


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Money can't Buy Love, but it can Buy Gold Diggers

I apologize for my silence the past ten days, but I came down with a pretty nasty cold, compliments of my lovely boyfriend. It's not his fault, of course, but he fell ill with bronchitis and a few days later my throat was sore, my nose was runny, and I had an unrelenting cough. By the time I was bedridden, Blake was back on his feet. We had been talking about redoing our backyard for a while and he decided this was the weekend to do it. While I lay in bed, knocked out from cold meds, Blake cleaned up the cobwebs and weeds. He laid pebbles, set up a fire pit, and strung lights. When it was finished, he took a picture of our new backyard all lit up to show me so I wouldn't have to get out of bed.

It's behavior like this that reminds me of how lucky I am to have a good man in my life. Now, don't get all annoyed and quit reading. I promise this won't be too mushy. I just think it's important to appreciate what you have, especially in comparison to what others don't have. Case in point: I was browsing through Yahoo News this morning, as usual, and I came across this article tag line "Millionaire blows $65k to find love". Of course, I was intrigued to actually read the article. The subject of the article is a 47 year old, retired Wall Street trader who has spent $65,000 in the last 12 years on matchmakers. He has gone through 6 matchmakers and 250 blind dates, but is still single, according to the Yahoo article.

This guy kind of sounds like a douche. According to previous matchmakers and victims of his blind dates, he is looking for a very specific type of woman with unrealistic expectations. Even so, I will never understand why men with money go to matchmakers to find love. If a rich man wants a trophy wife and chooses this route, I understand it more as a business deal. But if a rich man is earnestly looking for love, I don't think matchmakers for the wealthy are a good idea. The precedent is already set. The women auditioning for dates with these powerful men are doing so with the notion that these men have lots of money. You might as well stamp "Gold Digger" on their foreheads. These matched couples that hastily get married aren't far off from a nasty divorce. All I have to say: hope they signed a prenup.

If you are looking for real love, no matter how full your wallet is, shouldn't it be done in your natural day to day life? If you look for it in the wrong places, under preconceived notions, you will most likely end up broken hearted and maybe even plain broke. Doesn't it seem more legit to meet someone in a coffee shop or a book store where we are all equals? Meeting someone without assumptions as to their wealth makes for a more honest start to a relationship. If I was single and worth a lot of money, I wouldn't broadcast it while dating. I'd wait until the guy was honestly and obviously really into me and then shout "Surprise! I'm filthy rich".
Anyways, Blake and I may not have a ton of money, but we do have a real relationship. The next time you are frustrated with your guy for leaving his dirty clothes all over the floor or you feel like the two of you are drowning in bills, be thankful that you have each other and love each other for the right reasons. Although I know for a fact that a bountiful money tree would make my life a whole lot easier, I also know that it won't buy me the honest kind of love that I am lucky enough to have already found. Okay, so I did get a bit mushy at the end here, but hopefully it furthered my argument.

Lucky in love,


Monday, October 1, 2012

Halloween Ready

It's the first day of October, which means it's finally socially acceptable for me to bust out the Halloween decorations. Even though I have been slowly sneaking up decorations over the past week, now I get to really make the house spooky. I love this time of year. Halloween is lots fun and fall is the most comfortable season (once the temperature drops below 80 degrees and it starts to actually feel like fall), curling up next to the fireplace with a pumpkin spiced latte and a good book. What could be any better?

Only problem, this weather is seriously cramping my fall style. October 1st and the weather app on my phone is telling me it is going to be 97 degrees. What the hell!?! It's officially been fall for about two weeks, yet it feels like the middle of summer....in the desert. I'm ready to retire my sundresses and shorts for the rest of the year and make good use of those jeans and boots. I know a lot of people envy those of us lucky enough to live in Southern California, but it's heat waves like this that get me lusting after a region with actual fluctuating seasons.

I'm not going to let the blazing sun outshine my Halloween spirit. I'm going to finish decorating my house. I'm going to bake those skeleton ginger bread men cookies that I've been dying to make. I'm going to indulge in pumpkin flavored everything. I can't wait for popcorn and Halloween classics like Hocus Pocus and Beetle Juice. After carving pumpkins, Blake and I will season and roast the seeds. I'll be fully stocked and ready for trick-or-treaters.

Theme parks are the best this time of year. They dress everything up to match the holiday. Disney Land is really festive. Pumpkins and candy corn colors deck out the Magic Kingdom. My favorite is the Nightmare Before Christmas themed Haunted House. Knott's Scary Farm always keeps me on my toes, just waiting for one of the ghouls to sneak up and scare the crap out of me. This year we are going to the Queen Mary. The ship is vamped up with scary mazes that take you through the spooky compartments in the underbelly. It's pretty scary and I can't wait!

Just thought I'd spread some Halloween cheer and get you in the spirit. Did it work? If not, maybe this will help: here is a link to 100 free Halloween printables http://momsbyheart.net/100-free-halloween-printables/.
They're pretty cool.

Frightfully yours,

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