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Sam Dobson Writes: May The Odds (Of Marriage) Be Ever In Your Favor

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

May The Odds (Of Marriage) Be Ever In Your Favor

As you may have noticed, I have been absent for a little over a month but I can assure you that I have a very good reason. Two weeks ago I got married! Yup, that's right. I walked the plank, tied the knot. I spent the whole of December finalizing all the little details of my wedding, married the man I love on New Year's Eve, and dove right into my honeymoon. As you can see I've been busy, but I'm not anymore and it is heavenly.

After the midnight countdown, as the photographers followed us catching the last moments of our wedding day, my new husband and I made our way to the honeymoon suite where we snacked on chocolate covered strawberries and made our first champagne toast as husband and wife. Still elated from the celebration, we toasted to no more wedding planning. Upon waking on January 1st, we simply felt relief that the stress of wedding planning was over and ecstatic to be married and off on our honeymoon. Those feelings stayed with us through the honeymoon.

Since Blake and I have been back, I've been asked more times than I can count "how's married life?" and "do you feel different?". When I respond with "it's pretty much the same", the disappointment is apparent on the faces of my eager friends and family. I have had no epiphanies nor have I experienced any major lifestyle changes. Despite the dismay my peers may have about my lack of enthusiasm about the little difference marriage has made on my life, I believe this is promise for a long and happy marriage.

I'm not crazy nor am I in denial about my relationship. I have never been more confident about my partner and our life together. The truth is, aside from the strangeness of my new last name and the foreign concept of being a wife, my relationship with Blake feels exactly the same. There is not one fundamental aspect of our relationship that has changed. We communicate the same, compromise the same, and love the same. I've come to realize that Blake has pretty much been a husband to me (without the title) for the past two years or so.

Photo Creds: Mel & Tim Photography

This makes complete sense to me now. Why would I ever want to marry a man who wasn't already husband material? People don't magically change into the perfect spouse after reciting "I do". Now that I've crossed over the line that separates single life and married life, it's as clear as day. You should never marry someone if you feel that they wouldn't be a good partner right at this moment, just as they are without "fixing".

I know that I am by no means some marriage guru, I've been married for what seems like a minute. But I do have sense enough to know a good springing start versus a wobbly start when it comes to binding your life with another. Of course marrying someone who seems the perfect spouse now doesn't guarantee a happy marriage til death do you part, but it does give you better odds. People can change, but your marriage will most likely crash and burn if you marry someone that you are hoping will turn into a perfect spouse after saying the magical words and slipping the ring on your finger. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way. If only...wait. What am I talking about? I married a man who has been a husband to me all along. It doesn't mean I am guaranteed wedded bliss for all time, but it does give me pretty good odds. 

Happily married, 
Mrs. Dobson



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