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Sam Dobson Writes: The Bad Habit That Could Ruin Your Relationship

Friday, March 7, 2014

The Bad Habit That Could Ruin Your Relationship

Blake and I are pretty good about communicating with each other, even when it comes to what annoys us. We do have pet peeves and we do push each others buttons some times, but its not too often that one of us does something to really upset the other person. I know my husband well enough to know that one of my biggest offenses is my cell phone and laptop. There is nothing worse than sitting on the other side of the couch, browsing Facebook while your hubby sits arms-crossed and stewing.

I will admit, I am guilty of this bad habit from time to time but Blake is pretty quick to point it out and I can make it up to him right away. Problem solved. However, it might not be so easy for couples who are shy about voicing their grievances. Picture night after night of being "ignored" by your significant other. You crave some interaction but your boyfriend is fully submerged in his violent video games. It goes both ways, sister. Guys feel just as neglected when we get lost browsing the plethora of pins on Pinterest.

With the everyday technology we have these days it has gotten a lot easier to forget about your spouse. Whether it's non-stop texting, editing pictures for Instagram, or browsing through Facebook or Pinterest, leaving your guy to twiddle his thumbs on a consistent basis is bad news for your relationship. You know what I'm talking about. How many nights have you come home from a long day of work, slipped into your pajamas and then settled in on the couch with your laptop or cell phone and riffled through every social media site possible? All the while, your guy plants himself on the other side of couch to watch some telly or play some video games. Do you get it yet?

If what I described above sounds like the nightly routine for you and your man, this may lead to trouble down the road. One or both of you may end up feeling neglected or unwanted, "Why does my boyfriend prefer to battle and shit talk 10 year olds on the other side of the planet instead of talk to me?" or "Why does my wife come home from work and sit on her laptop for four hours and then go to bed without showing me any love?" Let this carry on without talking it out and the damage to your relationship could be irreversible.

Obviously I am by no means anti-technology but I do think we need to draw a line as a society. We are lucky enough to live in a time where the advances of technology are incredibly beneficial to our daily lives, but this same technology can have a disconnecting affect. With our faces buried in our smart devices, we can ignore the people and the world around us. I can't tell you how many times I've gone out to eat and seen a whole table full of people all face down with full focus on their phones.

I love my phone just as much as any smart phone user and I've given it my fair share of attention, sometimes too much attention. Then I remember that I don't want to be that couple who goes out for date night and sits across from each other, doesn't talk, and fiddles with their phones all night. The same goes for my girlfriends. When we are together for some fun occasion, the phones come out for pictures and posting, but that's it really. The rest of the time we spend venting, laughing, and gossiping. You have to nurture the relationships that are important to you. In the words of Farris Bueller, life moves pretty fast. If you don't put your smart phone down once in a while, you could miss it.


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