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Sam Dobson Writes: Why Long Distance Relationships Are Worth It

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Why Long Distance Relationships Are Worth It

Obviously I am not currently in a long distance relationship, I am lucky enough to share a roof and bed with the man I love every day and night, but I have been in one before. Everyone has their own opinions about long distance relationships (let's call them LDRs), some say it's a lost cause others have thrived in them. No matter which side of the line you stand on, I think everyone can agree that LDRs pose challenges that couples under the same roof don't face. It's true, I won't sugar coat it, LDRs can be very tough and frustrating. To that, I also add that any relationship can be tough and frustrating at times. It's just that LDRs have a special way of getting under your skin, different than that of other relationships. Fear not. If you are in a LDR or may be in future, I am here to tell you that they can be totally worth the added struggle.

Missing Each Other

When my previous boyfriend and I lived a few hours apart (yes, I know that's not very long distance, but hear me out) I would go a week or two without seeing him and it did suck. But I will never forget that excitement I felt every time I made that drive to spend the weekend with him. When I saw him, it was pure joy. Don't get me wrong, I hate spending a single night away from my husband and don't do so willingly. But that doesn't change the fact that there is something special about reuniting in long distance relationships, you can't force those kinds of feelings.

It totally sucks when your significant other has to leave you for a week, a month, or more, but the distance can create a certain kind of yearning not easily found in same-roof couples. The distance may seem like a curse, but do your best to think of it as a blessing. From the day your man leaves, you have something amazing to look forward to: that day he comes home. Stay positive and keep looking forward. When you are missing him, put your energy into planning your upcoming time together. Just remember how wonderful your reunions are.

Real Quality Time

In LDRs, when you are together it sort of feels like you are on borrowed time. There is a sense of urgency to make every minute together count. Of course same-roof couples share quality time as well, but as you can imagine with people who spend every spare moment together, there is plenty of Facebook surfing and football watching. When you only have a weekend with your significant other, there is no time for that. When together, don't waste your time together and make that time of quality. Make sure to soak up as much of your partner as you can, while you can. Remember that if all goes as plans, one day your LDR will turn into a same-roof relationship and you'll have plenty of time to waste together. For now, make every moment count.

Endless Conversation 

When talking on the phone is the only contact you and your love get, those conversations seem to consist of anything and everything. Talk as long as you can and in the process, you will learn little, tiny, seemingly insignificant details about your partner that you may not have otherwise. Plus, who doesn't cherish those nights you stayed up so late talking about life and love that you fell asleep with the phone between your head and the pillow only to wake up hours later to the sound of your partner breathing?

Creative Intimacy

While you can get creative in the bedroom in any relationship, in a LDR you sort of have to. To keep the fire burning while apart, you have to spice it up in unique ways. Suddenly N'Sync's hit  song from 2000, "Digital Get Down", totally makes sense. Hey, if you have to be in a LDR in any decade, this is your best bet. Take advantage of the many digital advances at your disposal. If you prefer to keep things traditional, put that pen to paper. Need inspiration? Check out James Joyce's dirty letters, he could knock the knickers of his wife via snail mail and so could you.

Love Is Love

We don't get to pick who we love and that's the bottom line. You love who love and for some couples, the hand that's dealt isn't always the easiest. Does that mean you give up? Don't be so quick to abandon ship just because your new guy travels for work, lives across the country, or is due to be deployed. If you love him, why not give it a shot?

Long distance relationships are worth it.
Print by TheDreamyGiraffe on Etsy.com

Like I said, it's not all unicorns and rainbows. LDRs can be very tough and I don't believe it's right for everyone. The one thing a LDR will do is weed out the weak relationships. There are many factors that can weaken any relationship but are especially poisonous for a LDR. To name a few: jealousy, lack of trust, and miscommunication. 

If you want to make a LDR work stay positive and make the most of your time together. Plan special dates, exchange mementos to serve as reminders when apart, go for a weekend getaway, make plans for the future. Communicate as much as possible, be honest and open, and share even the little mundane details. Don't let the fire fade out, use technology to stay intimate, and make up for it when you're together. Don't take each other for granted and if it can work, it will. 

D + M- This one's for you two love birds <3



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